We’ve all failed and fallen short at times. We’ve all broken promises to ourselves and probably to others too. Living inside ourselves, we’ve seen our very worst. Things we’ve hidden away or tried to forget even.

So it’s no wonder that self-doubt plays a role in our lives.

Whether it’s doubting…

• a goal we’ve set.
• that we’ll follow through
• that we’ll be able to stick with a new commitment.
• that we have the talent to be successful.
• that we’ll be able to handle whatever comes our way.
• that we’ll be able to figure things out.

Doubt can be pervasive. Every time we stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone we’ll likely run into some kind of doubt. As we stretch into the unknown, uncertainty and doubt are there to keep us safe, and prevent us from getting our hopes too high and risking disappointment.

Something I’ve found very interesting is tendency we have to doubt the good. It’s as if it’s easier, or or safer somehow to doubt the idea that things could be better than we imagi...

Most of us probably have a friend or someone in our life who is always asking for your advice, only to completely ignore it.

I’m not saying that they’re supposed to take the advice every time. But when they keep coming back with the same questions and situations and problems, and keep ignoring the same advice, it’s kind of annoying.

This sort of person is known as an “Ask Hole.”

And maybe you’re chuckling right now because you do know someone like that, but have you ever considered that you might be one too?

You just might be...from a certain point of view.

If you are constantly seeking guidance or signs from your intuition, higher self, G-d, the Universe, etc., yet you don’t take action on any of it, you might be an ask-hole.

If you get the signs, then refuse to follow, you might be an askhole.

If you’re asking for signs about things that you already know the answers to, “Just to be sure” you might be an askhole.

I could go on.

You’ve probably heard the saying that if don’t l...

There's a big gap between understanding the concept of unconditional love and actually living it. So unconditional love is basically a love that exists beyond circumstance or preconceived notions. It just "is."

You can understand the concept and even agree with it, but still think thoughts and take actions that are contrary to that. And likewise, you can do loving things and practice self-care and still not completely buy into the idea of self love or think that you're worth it and have resistance around it. It's important to understand that all of the pillars, self care and all of the others, are designed to create a conducive environment for love to flow through you. And today, I want to share a very simple exercise to explore this space between unconditional love, the idea or the concept of it and the actual being of it.

Because it's not an idea. And it's not an action either. Love is this state of being. t is this kind of isn't it and all pervasive energy.

The exercise is very simple...

Today we're going back into the archives of The Great British Baking Show, back to season two. There was a young lady in season two named Ruby and Ruby lacked confidence. From the first episode, I thought that there was no way she would make it any further than that but she surprised me. 

One of the things that she does is she points out all the bad things to the judges before they even taste her bakes. This is a subtle form of manipulation. She manipulates herself by beating herself down so that she can be pleasantly surprised and encouraged, playing the role of the underdog. And she's trying to manipulate the judges by trying to make things out to be worse than they are so that they'll praise her.

Maybe you've seen people do this, or maybe you've even done this to yourself. I can tell you that the judges really weren't having it but that didn't stop her from trying. Eventually, they did talk to her about this. 

What's happening here is that being our own worst critic is just a way...

Today I want to talk about one thing that you can definitely do without, and that is doubt.

Doubt is the crack in the door that leads to some places where we'd probably rather not be. What happens when we start to get into doubt and when we start to buy into that conversation in our own mind or whittle away at our self-confidence?

It escalates into worry. Worry starts to spin up and then we start to get into anxiety and the anxiety builds up and sooner or later, we'll be gripped by fear and fear is that stopping point. It's the place where we grip and hold. It's a place where we start fighting for our lives and it's a very stressful place to be.

It takes the joy out of life. It takes us away from our true selves and from our true faith and it prevents us from moving forward towards our greater potential, towards a greater sense of love and joy within ourselves and truly into our fullest expression of who and what we are. 

It really does go back to that little doubtful thought that ...

One of the things that we do that keeps us stuck in doubt, erodes our confidence, and creates worry, fear, and anxiety, is we make it wrong to be exactly where we are.

We make it wrong to be experiencing the circumstances that we're having in our lives. We make it wrong that we maybe haven't achieved the things that we wanted or created the results that we want in our lives, or that we're not experiencing the things that we want. And in doing so, we make a part of ourselves wrong. 

It's natural to want to change negative habits or patterns, things that we know or see in our behavior that don't help us to be our best selves. But when we fall off track, what we do is we play the same old standards and those are blame, shame, guilt, or even punishment. And we do that in order to “discipline ourselves”, to get back on track, and do things the way they ought to be done. 

The truth of the matter is everything that you have done has led you here, now.

Sure there may be some things that y...

Today, we're talking about fear. There are two fears that are basically hardwired into us. The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All the rest are actually created through conditioning.

That doesn't make them any less real or debilitating when that fear really takes hold, but it does give us a place to go to remember that the fear is created inside of us and that we can also uncreate it and set ourselves free. 

To get a handle on this, we can turn to the great J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter series. See, there was a spell that they cast, the Ridikulus spell, and what would happen is something called a Bogart would take the form of their worst fears and it'd be presented right in front of them just playing out. It could be one of their family members being killed, or it could be some person that's really intimidating to them. It could be anything and this Bogart would take that form.

If they cast this spell correctly, it would turn into a sort of caricature of itself, som...

When you're beating yourself up, putting yourself down, comparing yourself to others, and finding yourself lacking, you're in an inferiority complex. And when you're boosting yourself up above others, and over-inflating your sense of self you're in a superiority complex, pretty simple right? 

What I’ve realized is that they're just flip sides of the exact same coin. And that coin is a game that keeps us bouncing from one side to the other, looking at the world to validate us and make us feel good. And what you might not realize is that comparing yourself to others actually feeds them with your energy and in turn clutters up your energy with their stuff. So it ruins your clarity, which creates self-doubt and confusion. 

The capital Truth, is you are perfect and divine exactly as you are. Another Truth is that there is none other like you which makes comparison patently absurd and like comparing apples to oranges. 

When it comes to the truth of your soul, the best solution is no compl...

One of the things that we do when we have a feeling of not being good enough or worthy is that we set about trying to prove ourselves. So outside we often tend to overwork or get into perfectionism to try and protect ourselves from that criticism or protect ourselves from that feeling. And what we really end up doing is exhausting ourselves and setting ourselves up for disappointment.

As a musician, I had a story that I wasn't naturally talented or creative. So I thought to myself, well, if I don't have talent, I'll just prove myself to be the hardest worker. And that hard work definitely took me a long ways in my career, but it never really solved that story about not being talented.

It just made me exhausted and it stifled me creatively because I was afraid to take risks. And really what I had was just a big, old need to be right that I wasn't good enough. And because of that, it set up an internal battle within me.

So on the one side, I was trying to prove myself to the world by bein...

Have you ever found that other people believe in you more than you believe in yourself?

Maybe you got a great job that you didn’t think you had a shot at. 
Or found yourself doing work that matters and that you really love, but maybe never considered how talented you are at it.

Somewhere inside is that little voice saying, “Oh my gosh, if they only knew! Sooner or later they’re going to see me for what I am. They’ll find me out!”

I’ve worked with thousands of people through their processes of healing and transformation, and this is way more common than you might think.

We look around and everyone else seems so put together. Like they know exactly what they’re doing, and somehow things just seem to work out for them. Then we look at ourselves…

• The struggles
• The anxiety and worries
• The failures and disappointments
• The uncertainty, and of course an inordinate amount of “Making things up as we go along, hoping for the best.”

Have you ever wondered, what if everyone were doing ...